Effective Communication at Holiday Events
As the holiday season approaches, you may have some parties, networking dinners, or family events on your calendar. It can be fun to socialize, but it can also be stressful to make small talk with many people. It takes energy and time to have meaningful conversations. Years ago, I used to avoid attending many events, and even when I did, I would only talk to familiar people. I realized that this was not helping me as a communicator or as a person. If you find yourself in the same situation, keep reading. In this article, I will share with you three components of making a great first impression. One of my clients calls it a "practical guide to any conversation". You can use it in any situation - family events, networking events, casual parties, work get-togethers, and even talking to your children.
You're NOT the center of attraction.
We all love to talk about ourselves, don't we? We enjoy sharing our achievements and successes. Good news! Other people like to hear them too. This is valuable information for any great communicator. At a recent get-together, I ran into a friend who had recently visited Italy. She had posted beautiful vacation pictures of her family on Instagram. When speaking to her, I kept that in mind and used that information to start a conversation. I said, "I saw your pictures on Instagram. It looked like you had a great time in Italy. Which place was your favorite?" Phrases like "That sounds interesting. Tell me more about it" and "You sound like a travel enthusiast. I would love to hear more about your bucket list" helped keep the conversation interesting. I realized that people like to be heard, and active listening is a key ingredient to a positive first impression.
As important as it is to know how and when to start a conversation, it is equally important to know when to stop.
Make a point in the shortest time
In the world of short attention spans, the sooner you make a point, the more engaged your audience will be. At a networking event, a fellow entrepreneur talked to me for 10 minutes about her business, and at the end of the conversation, I had no idea what business she was in. It's not that she wasn't great at her business, but she lacked a clear and concise introduction. On the flip side, if you're just conversing in a couple of sentences, you're missing out on an opportunity to make a great first impression.
You might ask, what's the magic number? How long should I speak for? Unless you're giving a TED talk for 18 minutes, Tony Robbins recommends keeping introductions under 30 seconds. Does that sound short? No, it isn't. Let's take a look at this introduction of a stay-at-home mom. "Hi, I'm Reema. I live in Sacramento, CA. I'm an active parent of two young kids, 10 and 12. I help my kids manage various school and extracurricular activities. I'm also a member of the school PTA. We organize several fun events to bring communities together. In a past life, I worked as an IT engineer for several big brands." This introduction is under 30 seconds, and it conveys your unique value.
By being a great listener and knowing how much to speak, you bring your audience in and make a great first impression.
Stay close but not too close.
Yes, we are talking about personal space. This talks about how much space you should keep between you and the other person when talking to them. Research suggests that casual acquaintances and professional relationships maintain a space bubble of 18 inches to 4 feet. This number might seem appropriate in a Western society, but if you're interacting with someone from a Latin or Asian culture, don't be surprised if they infringe upon your social space bubble.
A few months ago, at a local cultural event, as we all were waiting in line for our turn to get food, a woman behind me kept closing the gap between her and me. I felt uncomfortable and asked her if she wanted to move ahead of me. Later, I realized that she was not intentionally trying to encroach on my space, but the fact is that the concept of personal space is not recognized in countries with collectivist cultures. Since it’s not possible to know everyone’s comfort level with space, my general rule of thumb is to stay at least 25 inches away from an acquaintance (that’s about the length of two A4 papers).
This holiday season, when you meet someone new, follow the three components of making a lasting impression by listening more, staying relevant, and being mindful of their personal space.
I’m a strong believer in Maya Angelou’s words: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel.” Happy Holidays!
